Dan Vollmayer

Houston Astros -- GEORGE H.W. BUSH

George W. Bush loved telling people he and his dad were both HUGE Astro fans. That changed when W. realized his dad was a fan of a sports team -- NOT the family dog from 'The Jetsons.'

Other Astro Fans:

Chamilionaire (Rapper)
Hillary Duff
Matthew McConaughey
Paul Wall (Rapper)
Tracy McGrady (NBA All-Star)

Milwaukee Brewers -- BOB UECKER

Some forget before the acting bug bit, Uecker played for the Brewers in the '60s. Given the team's limited roster, 76-year-old Uecker could PROBABLY start for the Brew Crew today.

Other Brewer Fans:

Bud Selig (MLB Commissioner)
Devin Harris (NBA All-Star)
Gene Wilder
Jeffery Tambor
Kareem Abdul Jabbar

Chicago Cubs -- VINCE VAUGHN

'The Dilemma' star's Cubbies are caught in their own never ending dilemma. Cubs haven't won a world championship in an astonishing 103 years! So forget 'COUPLES Retreat.' Come end of September it's more like 'CUBBIES Retreat!' See what I did there?

Other Cub Fans:

Bill Murray
Gary Sinese
Jim Belushi
John Cusack
Pat Sajack

Pittsburgh Pirates -- WIZ KHALIFA

Up and coming hip hop star Wiz Khalifia is constantly HIGH, which is the exact state of mind fellow Pittsburgh fans have to be in to enjoy a Pirates game. Sure Khalifa's a WIZ, but not when it comes to picking a favorite baseball team.

Other Pirate Fans:

Dan Marino (Nutrisystem Spokesman)
Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks Owner)
Michael Keaton
Rush Limbaugh
Steve Carell

American League West

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim -- DAVID BECKHAM

They might not know the rules, but that doesn't stop futbol god David Beckham and his kids from attending at least one Angels game a year. The tradition goes if the Angels win, 'TEAM BECKS' head home and dive into a pool of money. If the Angels lose, they head home, and dive into a slightly smaller pool of money.

Other Angel Fans:

John Stamos
Keira Knightly
Kevin Costner
Matthew Perry
Will Ferrell

Oakland Athletics -- RANDY COUTURE

Mixed martial artist Randy Couture knows better than anyone, to attend an Oakland Athletics game you have to be just that -- ATHLETIC. If you're in O-Town and can't punch, kick, duck, or run -- good chance one of Ice Cube's friends (from before he got into kids movies) will ROLL you like back-alley street dice (also very popular in Oakland).

Other A's Fans:

Billy Joe Armstrong (Green Day)
Ice Cube
Mark Curry (Comedian)
Maurice Jones-Drew (NFL Running Back)
M.C. Hammer

Texas Rangers -- GEORGE W. BUSH

If there are three things George W. Bush can't get himself enough of, it's clearing brush, killing bad guys, and watching some good ol' Ranger baseball. George W. also loves slinky.

Other Ranger Fans:

Chuck Norris
Kelly Clarkson
Michael Irvin
Nick Jonas
Selena Gomez

Seattle Mariners -- JOEL McHALE

Every Monday night Joel McHale watches the Mariners, roots on Ichiro, and eats some Cheerio's. And then spends at least an hour wondering if Cheerio's would ever seriously hear to his pitch for 'ICHIRO'S CHEERIO'S.'

Other Mariner Fans:

Adam West
Brendan Frasher
Bill Gates
Kobe Bryant
Rainn Wilson

National League West

Arizona Diamondbacks -- SENATOR JOHN McCAIN

The Arizona Diamondbacks' mascot is a snake. The Arizona Diamondbacks' number one celebrity fan kinda LOOKS like a snake. Coincidence? Probably.

Other Arizona Diamondback Fans:

Alice Cooper (Rock Legend)
Don Imus
Emma Stone (Superbad)
Jimmy Kimmel
Wayne Newton

Los Angeles Dodgers -- ALYSSA MILANO

Brooklyn native and 'Who's The Boss?' star Alyssa Milano knows who's the new boss of her L.A. Dodgers team. New York City icon Don Mattingly has taken over managing duties of the iconic former Brooklyn team. As a player, Donnie Baseball was known for his fierce bat and fierce mustache. Random Note: BOTH Mattingly and the very Italian-American Milano started shaving their upper lips in the mid 90's.

Other Los Angeles Dodger Fans:
Mario Lopez
Paris Hilton
Slash (Guns 'N Roses)
Snoop Dogg
Victoria Beckham

San Francisco Giants -- CHARLIE SHEEN

Crazy man Charlie Sheen watched his beloved Giants in person once. But was asked to never return after snorting the entire right field foul line.

Other San Francisco Giant Fans:

Danny Glover
Marisa Miller (Sports Illustrated Model)
Rob Schneider
Robin Williams
Tony Bennett

San Diego Padres -- REGGIE BUSH

It's funny how the name of Reggie Bush's favorite team is Spanish for the one thing he always wished he had growing up. JK! Kidding! Reggie Bush definitely had a father! I think.

Other San Diego Padre Fans:

Kendra Wilkinson (The Girls Next Door)
Mark Hoppus (Blink 182)
Shaun White (Snowboard Legend)
Tony Hawk
Troy Aikman

Colorado Rockies -- TREY PARKER / MATT STONE

The Colorado Rockies play ball in 'The Mile High City.' Which is exactly how high some say you have to be to find South Park funny. Burn!

Other Colorado Rockies Fans:

Dog The Bounty Hunter
Don Cheadle
John Elway (NFL Legend)
Karl Rove (Former Deputy Chief of Staff)
Roseanne Barr

American League Central

Cleveland Indians -- DREW CARREY

Lifelong Indian fan Drew Carey transformed himself from the 'Ridiculously Hilarious, Heavyset Dude,' into the 'FOREVER Looking Like He's On The 9th Day Of A 10 Day Cocaine Bender Guy, Who Doesn't Really Do Anything Other Than Pander To Audiences So Old And So Unhip Most Of Them Think The Term 'FRESH TO DEF' Has To Do With A) 'Hearing Loss,' OR B) 'The Helpful Nurses Who Come To Clean, Powder and Re-Diaper Them.' ANYWAY, Drew Carrey sure does loves him some Indians baseball!

Other Cleveland Indian Fans:
Dennis Kucinich (US Congressman)
Don King (Boxing Promoter)
Mary Carey (Celebrity Rehab Star)
The Miz (WWE Champion)
Wes Craven (Horror Legend)

Kansas City Royals -- DAVID COOK

Careful not to confuse their home state of MISSOURI with the state both the Royals and David Cook put their fans through every single night. That state's not MISSOURI. It's called MISERY.

Other Kansas City Royal Fans:
Don Cheadle
Jason Sudeikis (SNL Star)
Maurice Greene (Olympic Sprinter)
Paul Rudd
Rob Riggle (Comedian)

Chicago White Sox -- President Barack Obama

If President Obama ever wants to see an increased literacy rate, he might want to start with asking his hometown team to try actually spelling their name CORRECTLY. Seriously. SOCKS with an 'X?' I understand the morons up in Boston getting it wrong, but come on Chi-Town!

Other Chicago White Sox Fans:
Dwayne Wade
Jenny McCarthy
Michael Clarke Duncan
Michael Jordan
Rev. Jessie Jackson

National League East

Atlanta Braves -- USHER

Despite the name embroidered into the headrests of all 27 of his cars, R&B superstar Usher has surprisingly NEVER been asked by someone to USHER them to their seat. Crazy! You'd think when Usher goes to a Braves game morons would be asking that every other inning. Not true!

Other Atlanta Brave Fans:
Andre 3000 (Outkast)
Kevin Costner
Ludacris
Ted Turner
T.I.

New York Mets -- JERRY SEINFELD

They say great comedy comes from great pain. Sooooo is it safe to say the Mets played a major role in developing the hilarious Jerry Seinfeld? Unlike the typical Mets baserunner, yeah it's SAFE.

Other New York Met Fans:
Glenn Close
Hilary Swank
Kevin James
Julia Styles
Tim Robbins

Washington Nationals -- Paula Dean

Chef. Author. Actor. Television Personality. These are all jobs Washington Nat players wish they had instead of playing for the pitiful Washington Nats. These are also all the jobs Nats fan Paula Deen writes on her tax returns.

Other Washington National Fans:
Batista (WWE Wrestler)
Chamillionaire (Rapper)
Chris Meloni
JC Chasez ('N Sync)
Wale (Rapper)